Fines Chair, Fines Chair you're a f****n nightmare!

Hard to believe, but true... the man pictured above is the single most powerful member of our squad - and I'm not talking about those silicone guns he just had installed. As the season gathers momentum, FC Harps is taking to his role like a bergie to a papsak - just ask Stippy, Marco and Hanger who were passing round the little white bucket yesterday afternoon following the worst "leavers' punishment" to date. Green Sambuca and Amstel - delicious! There were tears, moans and mock-charges but the tiger was avoided, much to the relief of the families around us who were enjoying a quiet Mother's Day lunch on the Chariots Balcony.

I know what you're thinking... probably not the smartest move having a dip at the Fines Chairman - in his defense, he is stepping into the shoes of Gazza below, showing us all why Kurt Darren is still selling records.

This Sunday's opponents were Krugersdorp who figured that a 10 duck walkover was less embarrassing than what we would've smashed past them had they arrived. (Before you ask, I've claimed all 10 goals, lifting my 3 year tally with the MFP to 11!) The non-game brought to an end an MFP-rich weekend which included Muzzy's surprise 40th, Stippy's farewell, at which Beasty (below centre) finally stepped out of the closet proclaiming his true feelings for Liverpool's Stevey G, and finally the Krugersdorp no-show.

Needless to say, I'm not feeling all that great this morning. Strange really - sport is supposed to be good for you, one weekend with you lot and I feel like I've swapped livers with Kieth Richards!